Grief Grows the Heart

 

It is the pain and suffering of this world that cleans and purifies the human heart. And it is grief that allows you to connect and comprehend the essence of your nature. The grief carves out hollows in the vast immensity that is your heart, and there is no limit to the eternity hidden within, do not be afraid to look inside and find out who you truly are. The grief is just there to us to help us create more space and remove all that we are not.

Your heart begins as a door in the side of an infinite cliff wall and there is an endless eternity of earth on the other side of that door. Many will believe it is just the door itself that is the heart so they polish it and engrave it and build a mote around it and a protective wall. They try their utmost, in futility, to keep out the machinery that comes to extract the earth that is behind their heart’s door.

These people will squeeze a few loved ones within the cramped space between their mote and their individual door in the cliff wall. Believing themselves to have connected with others, but only able to do so, if and when they abandon their own door and fit themselves into this tiny space, which they think is their whole world.

But grief comes to us regardless of our strength, and it bypasses our defences, and yes it is true that sometimes those who we love are the ones who hurt us the most. But the grief is not there to destroy the door around which you have built a fort. It is there to excavate the earth and create space in the eternity of the cliff wall.

Grief is there to continue digging away into that most soft and sacred space, and yes it is painful. The grief is carrying away that sensitive dirt to create space in the eternity of your heart. To help you create tunnels and terraces, stairways of immaculate elegance, interconnected dwellings for all the peoples of the world. And if you do not tire from this digging, if you continue allowing grief to enter each time she knocks on your door, perhaps together you will tunnel pathways into other worlds.

Plant seeds and grow trees, create beautiful gardens that offer flowers and fruits each season, continue to build roads that lead into eternity. Do not think that your heart is the decorated door in the cliff wall, and never take up one’s offer when they present you an empty seat outside that door.

Seek to perceive how well their tunnelling is going. Ask them if they have recently removed any earth at all. That door is not your heart, it is just the indicator of where each one of us was meant to start.

So go in, go in, pick up your tools my friends and begin tunnelling. Know that each one of us, has a door to open and that the only way we can truly connect is through grief. So continue tunnelling your elaborate labyrinths so that one day soon, our tunnels may meet. Then will we be truly united, then will our worlds be as one and our hearts actually connected.

You see, though we each have a door in the cliff wall, there is only one cliff wall that holds all of the doors. And the mountain into which we are tunnelling is God. So go my friends, though it might at times be dark, soon we will be as one. This is what is meant by the words, ‘grief is what binds us’ and this is what is meant when we say grief brings us closer to God.

Keep digging my friends and continue hollowing out yourselves. For some are feeble and can only dig so far, while others amongst us have the strength to dig further than ever before, so dig away at that earth and continue connecting the tunnels of the people of this world. In the end, there is nothing left but the emptying of ourselves and becoming connected as one in the nothingness of it all.

 

Erfan Daliri

Change and Resistance – why people act, react and ignore.

This one is for my activist friends; the climate change activists, animal rights, gender equality movement, Stop Adani, any social justice movement that seeks to create change in the world. This is for you… People literally do not give a fuck about anything and will remain nonchalant and unengaged until something you say triggers, offends, or questions a part of their lifestyle or behaviour. It’s why the news is the way it is. People are just waiting for their next hit, their next dose of adrenaline, the next reason for them to be angered, upset, annoyed or enraged. That’s why the news is the way it is. And that’s why people watch it.

Even environmental activists have a mindset of angrily reacting to news of a tree being cut down, and straight up scroll past news of a million trees being planted. I know because I’ve not only spent years writing on these types of issues and themes, but I’ve also looked into the content and analysis of posts with high engagement rates and low engagement rates. You can see for yourself with what people generally respond to.

When in a state of recovering, or dealing with, or processing trauma, as we are collectively as a society, we pay little attention to the details of life around us, and go into troubleshooting mode. We lose our curiosity and interest and presence with people and we enter a more contemplative, inwardly facing, half-present state where we respond less to intricacies and details and joyful happenings, and react only to negative, triggering or threatening situations.

Parents, for example, will not pay attention to a word their child is saying as they stack the groceries away until their ears pick up on one of the trigger words; sex, fight, gun, party, expelled, failed. Until it is a reason to be angered or concerned, your teenager’s daily wrap-up will go largely unnoticed and unacknowledged. Trauma, or rather living with, dealing with or processing trauma, causes us to enter this autopilot, non-responsive, trigger reactive state, where we are disinterested and unaffected by our surrounds until it directly affects our ego.

This is important to note and to remember for those of us trying to create change in the world. People you never hear from will suddenly have an opinion on the unethical effects of veganism and suddenly have the time of day to engage in a conversation in the comments about ‘plants having feelings too’ when the previous day not a single thought had crossed their mind as to how to create a more peaceful, just and equitable society.

People will remain uninterested and self-centred until what you say or do, directly questions them or affects their lifestyle. We have alarmingly increasing rates of suicide, domestic violence, homelessness, economic injustice, environmental collapse, loss of species, warming oceans, war and conflict over control of resources funded by western corporate interests, 64,000,000 refugees seeking asylum due to these conflicts, we have ancient rainforests being cleared to make toilet paper and woodchips and we have mining companies tearing up the earth to pull out coal, destroy water tables and generate billions of dollars in profits at the expense of the environment and the rest of the human race.

And still, people will remain silent, disengaged, uninterested and at ease, and continue on to work each day, dropping laughing emoji’s and thumbs ups to all sorts of insignificant crap, until something you say suddenly suggests that perhaps they need to change or question their lifestyle. Suddenly they have an opinion. Suddenly they are concerned citizens and they have the time to engage in a conversation or even an argument. When only moments before they had a grand total of zero fucks to give any social justice issue that you put in front of them. The homeless person on the side of the street, or the climate change activists, the issue of domestic violence or why youth suicide is rising so fast. It’s all too difficult and complicated and distant from them, for them to do anything about. Until the change you are trying to create is somehow connected to a behavior of theirs.

Suddenly they are scholars; misquoting Facebook memes and doctoring already fake statistics, making up ungrounded arguments and misusing words and ignoring their proper meanings, just to defend an indefensible standpoint and deflect ANY sense of responsibility for the current state of affairs or any injustice that we are all implicit in.

That type of person is ineffectual and insignificant in the process of change, unless and until they develop the strength to not only hear and accept a difficult truth and acknowledge that we are responsible for the change we wish to see in this world, without defending their position of racism, bigotry, prejudice or injustice, but furthermore, developing the strength and resilience to actually express that.

People can take the position of the negatively triggered, anti-activist, who doesn’t want to make any effort in changing the world, or they can take the position of the innocent bystander who will continue to act as they were, but at least remains untriggered by activists, or they can take the position of the activist who not only sees the truth but speaks it, even in the face of ridicule, resistance, alienation and arrest.

But one thing to remember is that activists don’t need to make it convenient or palatable for anyone. It is not the role of the activist to make their message agreeable to anyone or to suit the level of discomfort or the rate of change that people prefer. If it was to be comfortable, universally acceptable, pleasant and pleasing to hear and easy to swallow, it would not be activism, would it? It wouldn’t be change; it would be comfort, ease, maintenance of the status quo and an easy to ignore and polite request for change written in a letter to the authorities seeking the honour of being able to vote or be freed from slavery, or considered an equal human.

Activism will cause people to be uncomfortable until they accept and admit that they are in fact on the wrong side of history and that they need to become engaged with the process of change.

That is the only way to get rid of the yucky feeling people get when they see activists seeking a change in society. The anger and resentment that is directed towards those seeking change is actually a very easy to discern expression of anger that the person feels for their own self. You’ve touched a sore point inside their heart and you have elicited a response. Be aware of that and continue your activism with that awareness.

Maintain civil conversation and continue communications, but remember that the anger that they direct your way, the venom they spit and the nonsensical rants, are evidence that they are uncalm, flustered and triggered. It is not for you to respond in like manner, but rather, for the sake of your cause and the momentum of the movement continue acting with love, thoughtfulness and intelligence.

Do not get angered into a state where you lose your logic, your reason, your intelligence and all of your experience. You are in the right, remember that, and respond from a place of love. How would you have liked your parents and teachers to have explained something to you when you had silly questions when you were 5? Respond in that type of a way; with calm, composed and intelligent sentences.

This is the way to affect change. This is how you can maintain your direction and your message, as well as your nobility and mental health. This is how to be an inspirational agent of change in a society that is in sore need of brave and courageous leaders.

Step up. Be unafraid. Speak the truth, and do not let your voice quiver.

 

Erfan Daliri – is an author, educator and change consultant with a Grad Dip in Communication for Social Change.

 

This is as much about you as it is about the rest of the world…

The process of social change, this movement for social justice, is as much about you, as it is about the rest of the world. This is about you finding your purpose, this is about your empowerment and development, and the role you wish to play in the rapidly changing society we are co-creating. This is as much about your personal growth, your mental health, your spiritual development as it is about global issues of justice, peace, equality and sustainability.

 

The shifts and transformations that we are witnessing across the world, in citizen agency, social enterprise, public awareness, environmental protection and the furthering of the cause of human rights and social justice, are all restructuring society and evolving the human race at a rapid rate.

 

And though this period of maturation and growth can at times be difficult and overwhelming, though it can feel like too much too fast, and paradoxically it can at the same time feel like too little too late, it is important that we maintain our composure, hold fast our convictions, refine our intentions, remain hopeful, cheerful, clearheaded and focused on the task at hand.

 

For the eventual outcomes of these schisms and cataclysms, these at times traumatic realisations and ruptures of old paradigms and failing systems will most certainly be positive, beautiful and for the betterment of the world. The trajectory we are on is one of unification and connectedness. This difficult and testing path we tread is moving us towards the ultimate and unequivocal realisation of our inextricably interconnected nature.

 

In those times of greatest difficulty and uncertainty, keep in mind the inevitability of the establishment of peace on earth and the resistless and unstoppable process of the unification of the human race. Let that thought console and calm you in times of bewilderment and grief.

 

Maintain a bent towards positivity and a solutions-focused approach to social, economic and environmental issues, for it will produce more effective initiatives and more holistic solutions. Not to mention a more easeful state of mind. The failings of the old paradigms and the injustices caused by flawed and prejudiced systems are plentiful and easy to see. What is rare and precious is the person who is committed and dedicated to hopeful solutions instead of occupying themselves with pointing out problems and bickering over wrongdoings.

 

Accept the fact that social evolution requires both growth and change, and that neither growth nor change can come without discomfort, difficulty and even pain. Be patient with the world that you wish to change, and just as importantly be patient with yourself as you defrag and restructure your ideas, ideals and personal habits.

 

The fact that you want to create positive change implies that you can see some form of injustice, imbalance, inequality or disconnect, and just acknowledging and witnessing the injustice can cause a great degree of pain. Acknowledge that others also experience that pain when they look at the world or their own habits.

Take that pain that you feel, take that anxious concern and the anger that comes with recognising injustice and transmute it into love. Turn one element into another, and let that love guide you towards thoughts and actions that will solve problems, create solutions, and create unity.

 

If you can have the compassion and emotional comprehension of our connectedness to deeply care for the wellbeing of others, if you have the resilience to unflinchingly bear witness to the injustices they face, the composure to turn that pain you feel into an emotion of love, and then act from a place of love to resolve the injustice, then you are a truly remarkable example of the pinnacle of human existence.

 

The process of social change, this movement for social justice, is as much about you, as it is about the rest of the world.

 

Erfan Daliri

She said, “It’ll make you sad to look at it”

Those who know me well enough will know that all I really want to do is to build a cabin in the woods and plant fruit trees.

If not for the speaking tours, the activism, the activist training, if not for the workshops with school students and prison inmates, and the resilience training seminars… If not for all of the things that continue to draw me out into the world, all I really truly want to do is to just be still, build a cabin and plant thousands of fruit trees.

And yet I seem to always be living on the road and out of a bag.

A few years ago, on one of my visits to Sydney whilst on tour, I decided to take my grandmother to the nursery and told her to buy whatever she wanted for the garden.

She loves gardening and she loves her roses and her lemon trees but doesn’t spend much money on the tools and fertilisers and seedlings she really wants because my grandparents both on a pension while paying off a mortgage and at the time they were looking after my dying great-grandmother.

So on that visit to Sydney, I took her on a shopping spree at the nursery and insisted that she buy whatever she wants. She kept checking price tags and I kept telling her not to worry about it.

Along with the things we needed for the garden I added a tiny little orange tree seedling, that was a while away from giving fruit.

My grandmother saw it and gently said “No Erfan, not this one.”

“Why not?” I asked, “it’s not expensive at all, don’t worry”

She said “no, I don’t want us to plant this tree in our yard. I might not give fruit until after we are gone, and it’ll make you sad to look at it”

I pleaded and said to please let us plant this tree, that it won’t make me sad but happy that at least we planted something together.

It’s been a few years since that day, and in all of the hustle and bustle of life, I had forgotten about that orange tree and forgotten of that day even.

Tonight, my grandparents sent me this photo of an orange from that very tree…

 

 

The photo of this orange and the memory of that day came rushing back to me. A tree I had planted years ago, and forgotten about, had finally given fruit…

Do those things you’ve been meaning to do. Don’t ever tell yourself that it’s too late, too soon, too much, or not enough. Just do those things you’ve been meaning to do.

Apologise to the people you’ve thrown your own shit at, and own it. Tell your family that you love them, and mean it.

Do things that will reverberate through eternity, even when we are unsure if we will.

Acknowledge mortality, do not ignore it. And despite your awareness of it, act bravely and risk your heart, your soul, your all.

Even it if all ends tomorrow, take your parents on that picnic or that overseas trip.

Pay attention to the things that you love. When the light is fading and the sun is setting is when some things are most beautiful.

Spend time with your grandparents. And most importantly… Go and plant trees with them. Because whether they are here to witness it or not, those trees will fruit, and those fruits will be sweet.

And even if we cease to exist, at least we threw something into the abyss of eternity.

 

 

Erfan Daliri

The beginnings of a social change movement

 

 

This word Newkind means a lot to me. It means everything to me… And the emotion that it evokes in us all, the visions it inspires, the hope and the comfort that we each draw from it, and the love that you all pour forth for it, it comes with a heavy responsibility. It comes with a weight that must be carried with care and respect.

 

When I read you telling me that this is ‘the movement you have been preparing for your whole life’, or that you are here to give everything you have, or when you tell me of the dreams you have also had of it, when you give so much of yourselves so freely, I do not take that lightly. I do not take that lightly at all.

 

So when I say it comes with a weight I do not mean a heavy burden, but rather the weight of the respect that I ascribe your words and your feelings. It is the respect that I have for you, and your life force and your words, that causes me to take so seriously each and every move and turn that this movement takes.

 

Everything from obeying road rules when entering and leaving the festival site, to the taste and timeliness of the food, the calibre of inspirational speakers, the clarity of our collective message for change and even the cleanliness of the toilets, all weigh on my mind and keep me up at night.

 

Not for a few months of the year, or even most of the year, but for every single that it exists. Much like having a child; once it is born, you never don’t have a child anymore. Near or far, you always have part of your awareness on the safety, security and well-being of your child. Even when asleep.

 

On top of that, there is the love each of you has poured into making this thing come to life that makes it even more precious to me. Though we gather once a year to celebrate our progress and prepare for further activism and change, there is never a moment that Newkind is not on my mind. Newkind is my breath now and it controls the rhythm of my heart.

 

Every piece of positive feedback or wonderful memory you share with me makes my heart rush with joy, and every blemish, detraction or shortcoming that I might have been able to foresee and mitigate against, causes my heart to race and my whole world goes dark for a moment or two.

 

I am not doing this for shits and giggles, and I know how seriously many of you also take this. This is one of those forever things. This is one of those roots firmly planted grow tall things. This is one of those inextinguishable things. Those once released untamable things. It is not a festival or a personal project, or a mechanism to serve ego or the needs of those at its core. It is the very beginning of something not even I can foresee to its fullest.

 

This is an act of service. And sometimes service takes everything from us and leaves us exhausted, exasperated, spent and penniless, and with nothing more than a feeling in the centre of our chest and a smile on our tired faces. Sometimes that is what it takes to be of service. And this I knew full well when I started this; for a burden is not a burden when carried with joy.

 

And what I would like to reassert is that I am taking some time to consider the future and the trajectory of this thing we have called Newkind. And in order to have a well-round understanding, I would like to read even more of your emails. Your thoughts, concerns even, and your feelings. For I wish to honour the love you offer this idea.

 

Even with a team of 120 crew, the final responsibility for the safety of everyone on site, their happiness, the financial obligations and most importantly of all, the representation of the philosophy, the message and the mission all rests with me. And I will do everything in my powers to protect and nurture this fledgeling movement.

 

And because of how much your time, your love and your energy means to me, and how seriously I take the protection of the vision and representation of this movement, I ask you all to offer me your thoughts directly.

 

If you have feedback write to me, if you have feelings express them clearly to me, if you have thoughts on how a thing could have been done better or given more attention than now is the time to let me know these things.

 

If you have concerns or seek clarity direct your expression towards me and allow your energy to feed the foundations of this movement that is still in its infancy. Give energy to that wish you wish to grow.

 

And as you consider your thoughts and feelings and gather yourselves to articulate them, consider this.

 

Newkind brings vegans who are not necessarily straight-edge, and it brings environmentalists who are not vegan, it brings permaculture and sustainability enthusiasts who may well not be versed in feminist literature or engaged with women’s rights movements, it brings animal rights activists who are oblivious to the Indigenous Rights Movement and the struggle for recognition and treaty, it brings old school hippies and new age spiritualists and throws them in the lions pen with social entrepreneurs, straightedge punk rockers and academics, it brings gender equality activists who are still unaware of non-binary language, and it brings LGBTQI activists and anti-vaxers, it brings it brings festival crew who don’t know what straightedge means and it brings young impressionable minds seeking clarity and guidance…

 

Can you see what intersectionality looks like? Can we see now how many threads we are trying to hold on to here, to bring all these people together? Can we see how many points of view we are trying to align? Can we understand the friction we are causing in insisting that we represent and champion each and every one of these causes? At the same time! Can we see now how important and inevitably challenging and likely triggering this movement is going to be? We are all already doing our thing, and we are all giving everything we have for the thing we believe in, and Newkind is drawing all of these divergent movements closer together. To create solidarity and generate momentum through solidarity, for solidarity is the fuel of any social change movement.

And for this fuel, this biding glue of solidarity to be harnessed effectively, the foundations of the movement must be strong, the vision must be clearly articulated, and its principles bravely championed.

 

So keep this all in mind when you consider your time as a volunteer or participant at Newkind, let your experience inspire you to add constructive criticism and make valid and well-informed recommendations or requests. Let us nurture this, prune and protect this idea that we all hold so dearly. Let us protect the feeling that this idea brings up in our hearts. Let us alter the course of history by first tending to our own gardens.

 

With Love,

Erfan Daliri

 

25/5/2018

 

The wailing of the world…

 

Eventually, something will happen to you that will cause your heart to break in a way that rips your ribcage out from your chest and leaves you without breath. There is a type of heartache from which there is no return, no road left to go back to where you once were. There is no way home from there.

There are some experiences that break you open so wide that the thought of it happening to anyone else is what keeps you up at night. It causes you to sit up late, weep without rest and beg for forgiveness. It cleaves you clean apart such that you are left in a daze, staring at a limb that was once attached to your body, but now lays a few feet away. You try to come to terms with the fact that part of you is not attached to the rest of you anymore, but you cannot quite reach for any sense or meaning; for sometimes there exists none.

There is a type of grief that rips you open like a hand tearing open an orange searching for the seed. It leaves you dismembered and disorientated in a pile of your own mess, a helpless beggar weeping for mercy. There is a type of pain that peels your skin and leaves you exposed to the elements such that a gentle breeze is enough to cause you to scream in agony. You wonder if the pain will ever cease. You wonder if God even exists. You wonder if there is any reason to continue or if there is anyone on this earth who can help you; for everyone seems preoccupied with their own grieving.

And then, when you expect it the least, when you resign yourself to your fate, just as the light in your eyes is about to fade, you find the sense in the senseless. Amidst the absurdity, you manage to find a sense of purpose. You realise this breaking of your heart was a blessing, that the weeping was a cleansing, and the grief was a way of connecting. You come to terms with the helplessness that everyone feels when their heart is broken. In your mutual understanding of grief, you find solidarity. In solidarity, you find connection. In your connection, you find strength.

As you resign yourself to the absurdity and meaninglessness of the pain you had to endure, the loss you had to suffer, you begin to find solidarity with the oppressed, the imprisoned, the raped, the tortured, the senselessly slaughtered, the mined, the violated; the Earth. In your state of utter bewilderment at why you had to suffer such injustice and why you were left so helpless, you begin to understand what it is that the earth feels. You see how mindless your own actions have been and how you have caused others to weep.

This thing that breaks you apart is actually a blessing, it allows you to feel a connection. If you manage to maintain your composure and not rely on crutches to get by, if you get yourself back to your feet, you will see how everyone is hurting, and instead of being angry and bitter you can decide to become more kind and gentle. You see, this breaking of your heart, this cause for weeping is a clearing out of all the dust and mud that had accumulated around your heart. This breaking of your heart, is actually what allows your heart to breathe again.

You begin to connect closely and intimately with your environment, you begin to see the senseless violence that is the cutting down of ancient trees, you see the violence in the way we have been eating, you see the violence in our language, and you see the violence in ignoring people as you pass them in the streets. You see the tenderness of all hearts and how traumatised everyone else actually is. You begin to sense emotion in a much more subtle way, and you can finally begin taking the first steps towards true peace. You become sensitive to the needs of thirsty birds, and trapped bees, you see yourself in the water and you see the water in you, you see how you are already connected to everything that is, through your very breath.

Your ability to receive a traumatic experience and not close yourself off to the world out of your love for others, actually opens up an entirely new world to you. You awaken to a world where you can see yourself as a single element in a much greater, limitless body, and as such, any trauma or blow suffered by any aspect of that body is felt by you deeply. Your connection to earth deepens, your roots begin to grow out from your feet and you realise that you are already home. And that you were always there.

You see begin to realise how everything you do, is actually already forever, there is no end, there is no death, there is no other place, for you are already there. You realise how spirituality is existence and existence is spirituality, you see that every action has an intention and every intention has a motivation and every motivation should be rigorously inspected before enacted. You see how energetic desire of another being, even in your own mind is still an act of violation, for there is no separation between thought and reality, and you realise your reality is your thoughts, and your emotions are your driving motivation. And then you realise why your emotions needed to be purified, and that is when you finally understand why you had to be put to grief.

The grief is a chisel placed against your chest, and your wish to grow and develop into a better version of yourself is the hammer that plunges the chisel into your chest. It breaks you up that you may see pieces of what you thought were you, break away and fall to the ground, until eventually realise that none of it was you to begin with. When you do not whince, when you do not flinch, when you stand there with arms out wide to receive each blow, you allow yourself to witness the process of your own crafting.

And if you remain composed, and calm, loving and kind during this painful process of refinement, you get to witness the most glorious experience of all. You get to witness your own birth.

 

 

Preparing the garden of the soul

Life is just the process of you becoming who you want to die as. That’s basically it.

We can complicate it, confuse it, and make it really difficult, violent and adversarial if we like. We can make it about drama, and ego, and he said, she said bullshit. We can make it about how other people are destroying the planet or that racists are ruining the world, or that meat-eaters are cruel and unkind, or any number of other tangents.

But the simple fact is, this life is about preparing the garden of your soul.

You have a certain number of years afforded you, in this lifetime, on this earth, for you to watch, witness, learn and then decide for yourself who would you like to leave this place as.

Just as the child in the womb is only really just preparing its limbs, its senses and faculties, that it may explore and navigate this world, so too are we preparing the vehicle with which we will navigate and explore the next.

There difference between the child in the womb and your existence here, however, is that you have a conscious part to play, unlike the child that is subject to the thoughtfulness of the mother carrying it.

In this life, you get to decide how you wish to respond to stimuli, how you wish to direct your energy, how much time you spend weeding your garden and how much time you spend looking over your fence at telling your neighbour to use less water in washing their driveaway.

You can sit at the window judging others on how they park their cars or whether they pick up their dog’s shit, or you can go out into the garden and plant seeds that will give flowers and prune your trees that they may give fruit in spring.

This life is the slow and gradual process of you deciding who you want to leave this place as. That’s it. Everything in this world is an opportunity for you to refine your idea of self or it is a distraction from the refinement of self.

Nothing else matters much. We don’t keep anything else from this place but for who we have become. We do not keep the books that we wrote or the medals that we were awarded, we do not keep with us our homes or bank balances, or even how much of an impact we had on the world, other than the times you brought joy to the heart of another.

The only thing we get to keep from this existence is who we became in the process of existing. The content of your character, the cleanliness of your heart, the clarity and purity of your thoughts, and the calm and composure with which you were able to love all.

That’s all that this life is actually about.

Erfan Daliri

 

This is about compassion

This wasn’t about the starving orphaned children of some third world country, global conflict, the environment or your particular religious beliefs. This had nothing to do with distractions and real issues. This vote was about kindness, compassion, understanding and acceptance, and as far as I am concerned that is the only real issue; rather, the core of all other issues.

 

There is no greater concern on the face of this earth then the peace and serenity of the hearts of human beings. For the heart of the human is the very centre of the universe, and the love, and peacefulness and acceptance that it feels determines the creation that it offers the world. This vote was as much a vote to legalise people’s love for one another in a relationship, as it was about our collective love for each other, for humanity.

 

What we were voting on was whether we are a nation of open-hearted, accepting and understanding human beings, or whether we are a bunch of fearful and prejudiced bigots who have only smokescreen arguments to offer… Thankfully the open hearts won.

 

This vote had nothing to do with any particular religion, because last time I checked we live in a secular society, and religious laws should have no say in anything other than how you choose to conduct your personal life. So shut up and put your holy book down, nobody is asking anyone to change their religious laws, we are speaking of the laws of Australia, not any particular system of faith.

 

And it wasn’t just the right to marry that was important here, but also, and more importantly the vote for acceptance. Let’s face it, marriage isn’t that big of a deal. About 25% of them are great, 25% are just ok, and 50% of them are dead-set shite and end up in divorce anyway. I don’t think the right to marry was the greater concern here, rather the issue of acceptance, acknowledgement and understanding. To know that your nation stands with you even if a few bigots don’t get you.

 

The real concern is that the queer identifying teenager who is terrified of school, can walk around with a little less fear in their heart and feel a touch more acceptance and love, from millions of people they have never met before. And even though the schoolyard bullies will not disappear overnight, at least that queer kid will know in their heart that the overwhelming majority of the country is with them, loves them, and accepts them exactly as they are. So our LGBTQI community can always remember that even though their families might not get it, the rest of us are there to support them.

 

Sure there are some legal concerns, and being in a legally recognised partnership is important in many life situations, and it makes heartwrenching hospital visits less painful… But what is even more important than the right to enter a legally recognised relationship, which is a basic right we should never have had to vote on anyway, is the fact that we are removing prejudice from our society, and though it still exists, and though legalising interracial marriage did not end racism, it sure as shit was a big step towards it right?

 

Voting Yes was just each one of us telling the nation that we are a kind and compassionate person. And any heteros who voted No, on an issue that has zero effect on their lives, should go up to the mirror, look at the person staring back and ask themselves ‘Why?’

 

Why would you ever do such a thing? Is your ideology somehow more important than the calm and peace that will come to the hearts of those who had been relegated to the fringes of your crumbling society? Is your opinion more valuable than the suicidality of a member of the LGBTQI community who is struggling to express their true identity to their family or community? Is it really that important to you that marriage remains between a man and a woman? Really… That’s a big deal to you?

 

Yes, it was a farce in many regards, and it should have been digital, or just decided by progressive leadership, and you might think that ending mining or global conflict is somehow more important, sure… but what did you do in the last 6 months to end global conflict, famine, mining or the signing of the TPP?
The fact is the removal of anxious tensions, the clearing of fears, the easing and calming of hearts, the opening of our own hearts, the acceptance of all forms of difference and diversity, is actually the most important issue that we have ever had to deal with. like ever! Since we lived in caves. All of the horrors that we have perpetrated against each other and against the earth have all stemmed from the carrying and enacting of fears, from prejudice expressed, and from discomfort within our hearts.

When we begin to put our fears aside and remove our prejudices, when our hearts are at peace and full to the brim with love, then and only then will our excessive and cruel diets, our arguments over meaningless shit, and our consumerism finally slow down, and our insatiable appetite for newer, bigger, shinner shit will finally be satiated with the deep reverberation that comes with expressing unconditioned love…

 

And voting Yes was a step closer towards that. And for that, I congratulate you Australia… Now can we please see to the needs of the 600 men left stranded on Manus? Get activists mobilised to end the needless slaughter of animals, and ffs can we end the Australian apartheid and bring Indigenous Australian leadership into our systems of governance?

 

Erfan Daliri

 

 

 

 

Nothing else matters

“…Let us commit, let us lean into life, and not relent…”

 

I’ve had enough time on this earth to know that there is nothing left here that can attract or distract me away from my true purpose. From our true purpose. There is nothing left here for me but to be a part of the evolution of human civilisation; the awakening of the soul and the very practical task of doing everything we can to create a peaceful, sustainable and equitable society. That’s it. That’s all there is left to do, and everything else is a distraction.

It’s not easy, I know. My friends and comrades know this well. It is not easy to be at all times considering and discussing themes of social change, justice, equity, equality, economics, animal rights, privilege, entitlement, rape culture, environmental degradation and domestic violence and suicide; without break, without rest, without drugs or alcohol to take off the edge, it’s not easy to not flinch, and instead to stare into the abyss, without backing away, and witness what is happening around us whilst remaining calm, clear-headed and focused.

But, it is also not easy to be aware of what is happening in the world in every single moment whilst not being a part of the solution. That refusal to engage is also difficult to live with. Shopping centres and dinner parties, careers, cars, homes, mortgages, drugs, alcohol, relationships created to fill a void that we should be filling ourselves, discussing politics and policy over wine and cheese platters while half of the world struggles to feed their family… That too is its own hell.

 

“…it is also not easy to be aware of what is happening in the world in and to not being a part of the solution…”

 

So in a way, everyone is free to decide which type of discomfort best suits them. The discomfort of uncertainty, of flux, and the personal exertion to change and evolve, or the discomfort of conforming to the familiar and known confines of an unjust prison.

And the fact is, most of us are actually fluctuating between the two worlds. One of abandon, full trust and commitment to social change, and the other of conformity and holding on to old behaviours, systems and ways of being. But the time has come for us to be brave and commit to the task at hand with full conviction and unwavering certainty. We are all already doing it, we just need do it a little more convincingly.

Our time will soon pass, and the chance to change the course of history will be gone. Create the future you want now my friends, instead of wishing that the present was not so painful to witness. What we are witnessing now, is the accumulative result of each generation before us, and the deviation or dent that we put into the trajectory that we were born into will be witnessed and noted, generations from now. Our efforts now will reverberate throughout all of time. Or not… depending on what we do with our time.

So make your dent, let us make our impression on this story, as overwhelming as the momentum and the inertia might be, Do Not give in to it. Make your counteraction against that which you do not believe in, do not resign to go unnoticed in the arch of human civilisation.

We all know within our core, which side of history we want to be on. And we know it will not be easy. Of course, it’s not easy. It is uncomfortable, it is painful, it is heartbreaking, mind-bending, and soul-shaping. It is not easy my friends. We experience panic, we experience anxiety, we experience loss and hopelessness at times, we hold each other up when one of us is finding it difficult to stand upright. It is testing and it is unrelenting. But nothing can compare to that feeling deep within our core that just smiles at us and says ‘Yes… this is the way home”

 

“…as overwhelming as the momentum and the inertia might be, Do Not give in to it. Make your counteraction count…”

 

I know it is not easy, and I know it takes fortitude and courage, and I know we need to heal our own broken hearts, to break off the arrows in our backs to roar into the face of the onslaught, I know we need emotional core strength and I know we need leaders to lead the way, I know we need community and compassion, I know we need to trust, to have love, to hold each other accountable but also sometimes we just need to hold each other up.

I’ve been running resilience training seminars and speaking on emotional core strength for some time now, and I am now letting the world know that though people are free to donate if they wish, I actually don’t care to charge anymore. I’ve decided that things such as income,  rent, and savings will no longer slow me down, or be a concern of mine.

The task at hand is clear, we need revolutionary people in order to have the revolution we want. We need brave and courageous souls to be unfazed, unflinching and resolved. We need to show kindness in the face of harsh words, and we must respond to hatred with uncompromising compassion. We need to be able to look at what is happening in the world and to not be triggered. That is the only way we will find solutions. And if I can help people do that, then that is what I will do.

We need resilience and core strength, to be able to witness the horrors around us and still maintain our calm, think clearly, and act with clarity, love and courage. When we are unafraid we are kind, when we are not in pain we are compassionate and considerate, if we can maintain our calm and composure then we will always make the decision that is just, fair, and noble.

It is for this reason that this work is important to me. Because I know at our core, we are good, we are kind and we are noble. I know our inherent nature is infinitely patient, forgiving, loving and supremely intelligent.

And that is why I am letting the world know that my resilience training sessions are now free and uncharged, I don’t want finances to be a concern for anybody. The next one is in Melbourne on Sunday 26th November, and the one after that is in Sydney on Sunday 10th of December.

The fact of the matter is the ones doing the most important work don’t often have $50 spare to book a ticket to a seminar. I know, because I’ve had days when I couldn’t afford to buy a coffee. So I will make sure every Unfazed seminar I do is always available for free to whoever wants to attend.

 

_erfan daliri

“The Earth does not need us to save her, it is our souls and the content of our hearts that need to be addressed.”

– Erfan Daliri –

 

 

 

 

Enough…

“…We must commit, lean into life, and not relent…”

 

I’ve had enough time on this earth to know that there is nothing left here that can attract or distract me away from my true purpose. From our true purpose. There is nothing left here for me but to be a part of the evolution of human civilisation; the awakening of the soul and the very practical task of doing everything we can to create a peaceful, sustainable and equitable society. That’s it. That’s all there is left to do, and everything else is a distraction.

It’s not easy, I know. My friends and comrades know this well. It is not easy to be at all times considering and discussing themes of social change, justice, equity, equality, economics, animal rights, privilege, entitlement, rape culture, environmental degradation and domestic violence and suicide; without break, without rest, without drugs or alcohol to take off the edge, it’s not easy to not flinch, and instead to stare into the abyss, without backing away, and witness what is happening around us whilst remaining calm, clear-headed and focused.

But, it is also not easy to be aware of what is happening in the world in every single moment whilst not being a part of the solution. That refusal to engage is also difficult to live with. Shopping centres and dinner parties, careers, cars, homes, mortgages, drugs, alcohol, relationships created to fill a void that we should be filling ourselves, discussing politics and policy over wine and cheese platters while half of the world struggles to feed their family… That too is its own hell.

 

“…it is also not easy to be aware of what is happening in the world in and to not being a part of the solution…”

 

So in a way, everyone is free to decide which type of discomfort best suits them. The discomfort of uncertainty, of flux, and the personal exertion to change and evolve, or the discomfort of conforming to the familiar and known confines of an unjust prison.

And the fact is, most of us are actually fluctuating between the two worlds. One of abandon, full trust and commitment to social change, and the other of conformity and holding on to old behaviours, systems and ways of being. But the time has come for us to be brave and commit to the task at hand with full conviction and unwavering certainty. We are all already doing it, we just need do it a little more convincingly.

Our time will soon pass, and the chance to change the course of history will be gone. Create the future you want now my friends, instead of wishing that the present was not so painful to witness. What we are witnessing now, is the accumulative result of each generation before us, and the deviation or dent that we put into the trajectory that we were born into will be witnessed and noted, generations from now. Our efforts now will reverberate throughout all of time. Or not… depending on what we do with our time.

So make your dent, let us make our impression on this story, as overwhelming as the momentum and the inertia might be, Do Not give in to it. Make your counteraction against that which you do not believe in, do not resign to go unnoticed in the arch of human civilisation.

We all know within our core, which side of history we want to be on. And we know it will not be easy. Of course, it’s not easy. It is uncomfortable, it is painful, it is heartbreaking, mind-bending, and soul-shaping. It is not easy my friends. We experience panic, we experience anxiety, we experience loss and hopelessness at times, we hold each other up when one of us is finding it difficult to stand upright. It is testing and it is unrelenting. But nothing can compare to that feeling deep within our core that just smiles at us and says ‘Yes… this is the way home”

 

“…as overwhelming as the momentum and the inertia might be, Do Not give in to it. Make your counteraction count…”

 

I know it is not easy, and I know it takes fortitude and courage, and I know we need to heal our own broken hearts, to break off the arrows in our backs to roar into the face of the onslaught, I know we need emotional core strength and I know we need leaders to lead the way, I know we need community and compassion, I know we need to trust, to have love, to hold each other accountable but also sometimes we just need to hold each other up.

I’ve been running resilience training seminars and speaking on emotional core strength for some time now, and I am now letting the world know that though people are free to donate if they wish, I actually don’t care to charge anymore. I’ve decided that things such as income,  rent, and savings will no longer slow me down, or be a concern of mine.

The task at hand is clear, we need revolutionary people in order to have the revolution we want. We need brave and courageous souls to be unfazed, unflinching and resolved. We need to show kindness in the face of harsh words, and we must respond to hatred with uncompromising compassion. We need to be able to look at what is happening in the world and to not be triggered. That is the only way we will find solutions. And if I can help people do that, then that is what I will do.

We need resilience and core strength, to be able to witness the horrors around us and still maintain our calm, think clearly, and act with clarity, love and courage. When we are unafraid we are kind, when we are not in pain we are compassionate and considerate, if we can maintain our calm and composure then we will always make the decision that is just, fair, and noble.

It is for this reason that this work is important to me. Because I know at our core, we are good, we are kind and we are noble. I know our inherent nature is infinitely patient, forgiving, loving and supremely intelligent.

And that is why I am letting the world know that my resilience training sessions are now free and uncharged, I don’t want finances to be a concern for anybody. The next ones are Brisbane Monday 21st May, Sydney Wednesday 23rd May, and Melbourne Sunday 27th May, and the one after that is in Sydney on Sunday 10th of December.

The fact of the matter is the ones doing the most important work don’t often have $50 spare to book a ticket to a seminar. I know, because I’ve had days when I couldn’t afford to buy a coffee. So I will make sure every Unfazed seminar I do is always available for free to whoever wants to attend.

 

_erfan daliri