You need to come to terms with this. You can remain a prisoner of your emotional self or you can decide to train and better yourself at the controlled expression of emotion. To believe that your emotional response is a valid or true judgement of any experience diminishes and detracts from your experience of life. Remind yourself that your emotional response is just your tiny and insignificant opinion. An ever-changing and transitory one as well.
Just because you felt a particular way in response to a certain set of words does not imply that those words were inherently kind or unkind, cruel or just, disrespectful or enlightened; this is a judgement you choose. Your decision, your response is not a valid judgement on those words or the person who spoke them. Your thoughts on that experience are an opinion, your opinion, and not a statement of fact. So stop your bickering.
Your feelings are responses to external stimuli. They are not an accurate gauge, true understanding or valid judgement of that external stimuli, they are simply the way you chose to respond. If unkind words, if a gesture of disrespect, if a cold, rainy, windswept campsite, or painfully slow traffic, has the ability to affect your emotional state in a negative way, that is a reflection of your inability to be the master of your own self.
This is not to say that one must be void of emotion at all times, to become insensitive and numb to the glorious array of experiences that life has to offer, no, much to the contrary. What I am saying is that your ability to be the master of your emotional state will ensure that you will be able to sense, and feel, to experience and witness life at an even greater depth.
When sadness, anger, depression, hurt, rage, frustration and all the other refractions of fear are no longer coded into your auto-response, then and only then will you begin to witness the finer, more detailed, nuanced and exquisite beauties of life. The further you develop your ability to witness existence and not be coerced or triggered into automatic responses, the more deepened your experience of life becomes.
When a neo-Nazi hurls a curse and a salute your way from a passing car, when a lover speaks words that spit in the face of your expression of love, or when a colleague gives you critical feedback that does not feed your ego the way you had wished, you have a choice to be hurt or upset or disappointed, or you can choose to be a non-reactive witness of that experience. From a position of cool, calm, collectedness, you have the ability to learn from that experience.
You may learn more about yourself, you may learn more about the other person, about life, psychology, spirituality, you might come to understand a little more about interpersonal communication or perhaps economics or politics. If however you respond with an instantaneous and automated feeling of hurt or upset, you fail to witness anything new, you withhold yourself from the possibility of bettering yourself.
As you develop this ability in yourself you do not become cold or insensitive, rather you become witness to life and capable of experiencing even more intense feelings of joy, gratitude, bliss and contentment. You begin to notice the texture and flavour of a banana more intensely, you feel the sensation of a brisk cold wind with more depth and understanding, you sense the touch of your lover more intimately, and you are more likely to experience fits of laughter and bouts of giggling joy.
These sensations and feelings, these joyous realisations and glorious experiences of gratitude await you just beyond the gates of the prison of self. As you leave the limited experience of judgement and the negatively charged automated responses, you enter the realm of The Witness. As you train yourself further and further to love all that you see and experience, and refuse to remain trapped within the tiny body of the emotional self, you can witness reality for the absurd beauty, the glorious comedy, the intricate infinite existence of pure joy that it is.
You begin to realise that it was only ever your response to life that was dark and painful, it was only ever your decision to place this judgement on life that created your experience of it. And your decision was never a true reflection of the nature of existence. Rather it was a reflection that was muddied by the mirror of self. It was your own fears that had left dust on the mirror that is you, and as such projecting a dimmer and diminished version of reality; one that you yourself had cast.
It is The Witness who is peaceful and at peace, it is The Witness who is enlightened and understanding, it is The Witness who is kind and generous and compassionate without any thought of barter or reciprocation. It is The Witness who is patient, trustworthy and reliable. It is The Witness who is unconditionally loving and supportive. It is The Witness that one can rely on for advice, protection, guidance and true recognition. For all others are trapped behind the veil of self. It is The Witness who will accept your expressions and your aggressions, your words and your actions, without judgement and offer in return only love.
So become The Witness. Leave behind your limited emotional self and move towards this greater version. It is The Witness that people are in search of, and crave so deeply. It is this type of person who will bring peace to troubled minds and ease the suffering of grief-stricken hearts. It is this type of person that we seek in our relationships, friendships, as our comrades, friends and lovers.
So become The Witness. Become that which this world needs the most. That which you seek is seeking to become you.
You have the capacity to reflect the light of God, so clean your mirror, your heart, that you may become and allow others to witness the true reality of nature. Let the light of The Sun be reflected by you without dust and mud getting in the way. Your fears are affecting your experience of life, you are the only one who can change that.
Life is what it is, not what you think it is, so clean and clear yourselves of your fears and fear-based emotions that you may witness it for the glory that it is.
Erfan Daliri 26/5/2017